New Year's Resolutions & Why I Don't Bother.



Resolutions set us up to fail.

Pow. I know, kinda blunt. Let me clarify. I firmly believe there’s a better solution to resolutions (pun intended) that creates way less stress, mindfulness and much more enjoyment of life. Sound good? 

Oh, and It doesn’t include dieting, losing 10 pounds by next week, quitting sugar, caffeine and your fav occasional donut. (By the way, we can’t be friends if you don’t drink coffee - kidding sort of).


Anyway, What am I talking about? 

Here’s some proof (aka) nerdy statistical info that I found on the web. According to the research, 45% of Americans usually make a New Year’s resolution, 38% never, and the other are infrequent. That’s not the clincher here, the wow fact is that only 8% actually achieve them. That’s some sad shit right there. That’s right, sad shit. I said it. Bravo if you’re in that 8% by the way.

Now, take a wild guess as to what resolutions top the charts? You guessed it:

  • Losing weight

  • Getting organized

  • Spending less, saving more

  • Staying fit and healthy

  • Learn something new and exciting (always do this by the way)

  • Quit smoking

To sum it up, most people are talking about self improvement, which is great! However, I am extremely against making yourself a permanent self-improvement project. Let me elaborate.

According to those stats, people aren’t achieving their goals/resolutions. That tells me and should suggest to you, why bother? I’ll bet we’ve all felt like crap as a result of setting a goal or resolution that we didn’t achieve. Am I right? Then we’re ridden with guilt, self loathing, depressed and whatever other crap feeling you can come up with letting the gym take our money and eating a pint of ice cream on the couch.


“Live a life based on your values and desires instead of unrealistic goals. Live with intention.“ -Jen Vagios

The problem with resolutions is that they focus on the achievements that society makes us think is important, the  “external” stuff. Our minds and egos then tell us (a bunch of stories) that we should be skinnier, smarter, stronger, richer, better versions of ourselves….always. Like we’re a constant “work in progress and self help book.”

We also think that everything can be fixed in an instant (remember AOL instant messenger? Anyone? Did I just date myself?). We want to get from point A to point B immediately. We don’t want to do the work, experience the journey or wait.  We want things NOW. Immediate gratification or bust.


Then, when we don’t follow through with our resolutions, we say things like…..

  • I’ll start again tomorrow.”

  • “Just one more day of eating whatever I want.”

  • “I’m no good, I suck.”

  • “I’ll start exercising and using that gym membership when I have more time.”

  • "I just ate like 3 cookies, might as well keep eating them since I failed at my diet."

And so the story goes on and on…..and you feel like a disaster and sh*t.

Good news! I have a better idea and system that works! 




Shoulds get us in trouble. Shoulds make us think we’re not good enough, strong enough, have enough etc. Saying you “should” do something is not coming from your soul, your heart, your truth, your values and desires. When you say you “should” and then you “don’t” you end up “should-ing on yourself.” Don’t should on yourself people. (get it, poop joke there). “Should” makes us feel bad when we don’t. It’s that simple. Next time you say you “should” do something…..smack yourself across the face. Kidding. But really, recognize it, notice it, don’t judge yourself. Read the next step.


Resolutions are not as good as intentions, and here’s why. Think of intentions like this...if you’ve ever gone to a yoga class {if you do that sorta thing}, you might have an intention set at the beginning of the class such as ,”notice the pause between each breath, be more present and loving to your body”, or maybe it’s just a word “patience, compassion, stillness.” You catch my drift. Intentions help you move with ease, kindness, compassion to yourself. There is no result, we’re not looking for an outcome that’s specific here, just a feeling, experience, being present in your own body.

When you “want” something based on your core desires, how you want to feel in your life instead of what society tells you to be or want or listen to YOU. You choose what you want based on how you want to feel, live, experience your life. Make sense? See step 3.


Let it come from your truth, how you want to FEEL in your life, your DESIRES. So it's ok to set a goal, but what is the intention behind it? Are you trying to achieve a result, outcome, or else? Or do you "want" to run because it makes you feel good, energetic, alive, like a teenager again? See the difference? There's less worry about HOW it's going to be achieved or if it's going to happen and more focus on the desired feeling so that you naturally live your life based on those feelings and less around the "I should."

::: Example 1

”I should go to a yoga class every day."


“I want and am going to make yoga a part of my life everyday.” (note: this doesn’t mean go to a class or bust, it means living your yoga, maybe making a class once a week, meditating for 5 minutes a day, being more mindful of your actions etc.).


:::Example 2

“I should quit smoking.”


“I am going to make healthier choices when it comes to my mind, body and soul.”

::: Example 3

“I need to stop eating sugar, carbs and fast food….and go on a diet, immediately to lose 10 pounds.”


” I resolve to be more mindful of what I nourish my body with.”

Tell me, what do you intend to do in 2016? Or tell me, what's your current biggest struggle? I read each and every comment, cause I care! 

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